That Sinking Feeling

 

Nay, much more those

members of the body,

which seem to be more feeble,

are necessary:

and those members of the body,

which we think to be less honourable,

upon these we bestow more abundant honour. . . .

 

-- 1 Corinthians 12:22

 

            She was on one of her first dates with a very attractive young man. He wound up as her husband despite this rather inauspicious dating experience, or maybe because of it. A diamond engagement ring is certainly cheaper than paying out a bunch of hush money!

 

See, he was taking her out for a romantic picnic on the Missouri River on his flashy speedboat, his pride and joy. He had a bottle of wine and some munchies. He impressed her a great deal with his skill in maneuvering the boat trailer and launching the craft. So off they went.

 

Ah, boating! A relaxing hobby! The wind whipping through your hair! Leaving the cares of the sun-baked world in your wake!

 

But not ALL of the cares. A few miles down the river - or, in her humorous re-telling, UP the river - he suddenly realized that he had forgotten a key thing:

 

The plug!

 

She didn't even KNOW there was a plug in a boat. She knows now. And even though it is very small, it is very key.

 

So THAT'S why the boat was planing a bit more toward vertical than horizontal!

 

Yikes! His confident demeanor transformed into desperation. Instead of impressing his date, he now focused on staying out of Davey Jones' Locker. He'd heard that if you go fast enough, your boat won't take on as much water if you've left the plug out. So he plunged the throttle forward like the last lap of a NASCAR race, heading back for the dock as fast as the boat could go.

 

Meanwhile, she risked her life over every bump, leaning out over the back of the boat at that breakneck speed, trying to get the cork from the wine bottle into the little bitty hole where the plug was supposed to go.

 

Almost . . . but not quite.

 

Plan B was for him to swing by the dock ramp, slowing down only enough to allow her to survive the jump onto the dock, while he kept the boat moving quickly to keep from taking on more water.

 

Where's the America's Funniest Home Videos camera when you need it?

 

She managed to land on her feet without breaking anything. He then circled around and around on the river, still at breakneck speed, while she lumbered up the steep boat ramp to his truck and trailer in the parking lot. She was supposed to back it down the ramp so he could run the boat up on it without having to stop and take on water.

 

Well, being a South Dakota farmer's daughter, you'd think she'd have the mechanical skills, but after several pitiful attempts, she failed to get the trailer cranked around and backed down the ramp.

 

Embarrassed, she ran back down and tried to holler over the roar of the motor at her date, still out circling around in his speedy little boat. Turning to desperate gestures, she waved her arms and shook her head back and forth -- "No!" Oh, the look on his face. . . .

 

On to Plan C: He would swing by the ramp and slow down just enough for her to jump in the boat and then he would zoom up to full speed again as soon as possible to get rid of some of the water they took on. Next, she got a 15-second lesson on how to drive a boat. This time, it was his turn to leap onto the ramp and lumber up to his truck and trailer, while she circled at full throttle in the middle of the fast and treacherous Muddy Mo.

 

Somehow, she got it back to the dock. They switched places again so that he could run a couple more full-speed circles around the river to get some more water out, and then ram it up on the trailer. Then he leaped out of the boat one last time, raced around to the truck, and drove the trailer laden with the waterlogged boat up the ramp to let it drain for a good, long while.

 

During that good, long while, they exchanged a good, long glance . . . and started to laugh . . . and it was love.

 

They've been married for 18 years. I don't think they took any more boat rides on the river after that. But there's a moral to their story:

 

Little things mean a lot. Don't ever think you're too insignificant to make a difference, whether it's in your family, your school, your office, your church or your country. Like that little boat plug, you are part of the whole. If you're not in place you'll be missed, and you are very, very key.

 

Everything and everybody count, big and small, rich and poor, plain and fancy. That's the way the Big El Capitano in the Sky charted our course.

 

Oh, yeah, and have a bottle of wine handy at all times. You may need both what's inside . . . and the cork! †